Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
