hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i believe in u and ur pee
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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