Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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