she looked like the before picture.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
