The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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