does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
