All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
