my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You made out with two different species that night
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
