Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize