he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
they're like a gay fantastic four
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize