I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
