he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize