High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize