VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
