Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
