So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
