this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
