but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize