Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
