Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
When are your genitals available?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
