why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
