we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
