yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
