Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
