I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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