Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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