I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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