So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I think my moral compass just broke
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
