Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I party with great urgency now.
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