I met the friendliest cop last night
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
