She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
