My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
