what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
