but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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