im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
