Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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