You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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