This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
