i love accidental penises.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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