I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize