ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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