My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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