His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
