We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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