Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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