so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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