Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
