So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
