Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
