Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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