Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize