i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
