He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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