I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
