You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
