you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
