goodnight i made you a song goodbye
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
