True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
