so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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