Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Sober January is a disaster.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
