Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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