He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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