You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
