Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Do vagina's smell?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
