Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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